Guest Author : Manjusha Ravi Bhaskarwar
I once met a young professional couple well-educated, financially stable, and deeply fond of each other. During a marriage competency session, a simple question revealed everything: “How do you handle conflict?”
One believed silence was peace. The other believed discussion was care.
They weren’t incompatible they were unaware. That one insight changed their entire approach to each other. Awareness saved them years of misunderstanding.
In today’s fast-changing social landscape, marriage is no longer a simple personal milestone it has become a complex emotional, psychological, and social decision. While education, careers, and financial independence have progressed rapidly, emotional preparedness for long-term relationships has not kept pace. This gap is where marriage counselling and relationship education become not just relevant, but essential.
The Five Red Flags Nobody Talks About
Through years of counselling and assessment, five major red flags consistently emerge in problematic relationships:
Poor communication patterns whether through avoidance, silence, or aggression create invisible walls between partners. Mismatched core values around family, finances, and life priorities become fault lines that widen over time. Emotional dependency or control masquerades as love but suffocates autonomy. Lack of accountability and adaptability means neither partner grows or takes responsibility. And perhaps most critically, unclear long-term vision leaves couples building separate futures while sharing the same bed.
Ignoring these signs before marriage often leads to years of accumulated resentment, distress, and eventual breakdown.
The Modern Relationship Landscape
Contemporary relationships have evolved into forms our parents’ generation barely recognizes situationships, live-in arrangements, emotional dependencies without commitment, and transactional connections driven by convenience rather than values. In corporate environments especially, the lines have blurred dangerously. Stress, long working hours, and lack of emotional literacy create confusion about consent, expectations, and professionalism.
Many young individuals struggle to differentiate between friendliness and attraction, between emotional dependency and genuine commitment. When emotional awareness is low, misunderstandings rise—and this has serious implications beyond personal heartbreak.
The Workplace Ripple Effect
A significant number of POSH (Prevention of Sexual Harassment) cases emerge not solely from malicious intent, but from misread signals, unspoken boundaries, and emotional immaturity. When individuals lack training in understanding boundaries, consent, emotional cues, and respectful communication, workplaces become vulnerable to conflict that could have been prevented through better relationship education.
The couple I mentioned earlier? They went on to build a thriving marriage not because their differences disappeared, but because they learned to name them, understand them, and navigate them together. They discovered that compatibility isn’t found; it’s built through awareness, skill, and commitment to growth.
Perhaps it’s time we stopped treating relationship competency as something people should just “figure out” and started recognizing it as a learnable, teachable skillset one that could transform not just marriages, but workplaces, families, and communities.
Note: Guest author Manjusha Ravi Bhaskarwar is a Relationship Counselor and cultural activist.
Photo: Manjusha Ravi Bhaskarwar
About The Author
Based on the article, I find its core argument very compelling: relationship skills should be taught, not just assumed. The idea that “compatibility isn’t found; it’s built is powerful and necessary shift in how we view theses days.
What I Strongly Agree With :
· The “Awareness Gap”: The story of the couple—where one saw silence as peace and the other saw discussion as care—perfectly illustrates that many conflicts stem from unspoken assumptions and poor communication patterns, not fundamental incompatibility. Teaching people to identify and articulate these differences is crucial.
· The Five Red Flags: The listed issues (poor communication, mismatched values, emotional dependency, lack of accountability, unclear vision) are an accurate summary of the common roots of marital distress. Making young adults aware of these “fault lines” before marriage is proactive and sensible.
· The Workplace Connection: This is a highly insightful point. The argument that a lack of emotional literacy and clear boundaries contributes to workplace misunderstandings and even POSH cases is convincing. It elevates relationship education from a personal benefit to a broader social and professional necessity.
🤔 My Additional Perspective
While I agree with the premise, I believe success depends on the how, when, and where:
· “When” is Key: The ideal time for this education is late adolescence and early adulthood, well before marriage is imminent. It should be part of a broader life-skills curriculum.
· “Where” it Happens: While formal pre-marital courses are great, these concepts should be integrated into schools, community programs, and even corporate training (as the article hints at).
· The Goal is Skills, Not Judgement: The training must focus on building practical skills—like active listening, conflict de-escalation, and joint financial planning—rather than just diagnosing problems or imposing a single model of a “successful” relationship.